She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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