I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
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