i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
