we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
