CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
