dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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