He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
