your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
