Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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