your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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