he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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