So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
