Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you still have your period?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
