I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
