I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
