Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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