stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
