i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
