His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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