Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
