I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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