As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
