i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
