i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
