Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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