i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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