the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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