Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
