Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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