I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
