Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
