Non-Jews are for practice
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
