Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
