Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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