If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
