By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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