i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
