Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
