Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
