So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
