First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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