Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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