No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
