toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
