TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
