How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
