in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
