Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
