hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
