she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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