youre lurking in front of me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just found a bag of teeth...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
