Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
